Let it be known that I don't like to think of myself as particularly unlucky. Although, granted, I'm pretty sure nobody likes to think of themselves as unlucky. It's sort of like having leprosy (minus all the visual side affects)...or being Charlie Sheen. I mean, sure he considers it WINNING but I don't know anyone else who'd consider being fired off a TV show, bombing in their comedy act and getting a divorce, as WINNING.

The point is that I've taken most the terrible circumstances of my life in stride. Sure, I have a break down here or there but generally that's in a Safeway parking lot in the dead of night, and nobody is really around to see it. I like to think that it's normal to cry in a Safeway parking lot. Mostly because it makes me feel better about myself but also because I happen to really, really like Safeway.

Overall, I take confidence from the fact that my life is full of just as many screw-ups, let downs, and overall dissatisfaction as the next twenty year old. After all, this is America. You can't really have high expectations in a place like this.

Before anyone gets all patriotic on me, let me recount this moment when I heard this lovely, wonderful, American citizen state that she hated when she went to other countries and the people didn't speak English.

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE DO IN AMERICA.

Not really, actually. I'm pretty sure she was just an idiot, but I've always wanted to say that.

ANYWAY. As I was stating, I've never figured myself to be more unlucky than any other individual in this blessed Country. I do my taxes, I clean, I try not to lie all the time. If anything that automatically makes me better than half the people in this place. And yet, I can't help but wonder what the universe is trying to tell me.

I mean, besides the fact that the world might be ending in 2012 and that Ryan Seacrest is going to end up ruling the world (have you seen his hair?)

This sudden realization came to me early this morning as I was literally vomiting my guts out because I caught a wonderful case of FOOD POISONING.

Which just seems to be my luck these days. Let me break it down for you.

In the past month I have:
-Locked the keys in the car 4 times. Which...just says more about my air-headedness I assume.
-Had 2 tires blow out on PAC HWY (and had to change both of them/put on the spares). While it was a learning experience...I really didn't enjoy it.
-Have had 3 nosebleeds. Which is really only scary when in public. Because then people think you're having an aneurysm.
-Had my car run out of gas in Downtown Seattle. The bums seem nice...until you're stuck sitting next to them for 2 hours.
-Got food poisoning. And I'm a fucking vegetarian. Think about that one.
-Hurt my back. No, not like that. It's called
-And hit my head on the car door 3 times. My head looks more misshapen then usual.

Whatever the world is trying to tell me I'm obviously not getting. *insert funny metaphor here*. You know, it could just be all my unlucky days accidentally bunching together, or this could be punishment for my inherently dry sense of humor. BUT JEEBUS. I feel like Nicole Ritchie when she was driving on the wrong side of the road.

Is that not a reference people get?

I've also been subjected to two Nicholas Cage movies...and while that isn't something that's considered unlucky, I consider it torture and since this is me whining...I had to throw it in. Mostly because I can. Nobody is required to read this ingenious piece of writing. It'd be nice, but I'm not holding a gun to anyone's head.

I have standards people.

But since this is me complaining, and since this is me after spending the whole weekend getting sick, I'm going to complain for a little bit. Normally I would start running around my house in a frenzy with my arms flailing, but the G-MA is sleeping and she happens to have cancer so...so I have to be extra nice to her. Not that I wasn't before or anything.

Speaking of the G-MA, I honestly don't care what anyone else says. She's a downright PIMP. She's 69 and doing all her Chemo treatments. So much has changed with her. In a year she went from the 4'5" woman who could still beat my ass to this tiny old lady who now needs help getting down the stairs. I know she hates it, I hate it. Nobody likes to see someone they know change so drastically. Especially in such a small amount of time. It irks me and I know it irks her, I just want time to stop and all this stuff to disappear. Time goes by too fast.

On side note, let me count the ways that people irritate me. Because I feel like it:

( Cut for the whining )

So...basically I've forgotten the whole reason for this post. I guess I just really wrote all this as a means to answer one important question. Is it possible to suffer unlucky circumstances due to moments in your life where you committed less than endearing acts?

In other words, is all this shit punishment for something I did a long, long time ago? Because I'd rather watch Justin Bieber music videos on repeat. And that's saying something.

OMGOSH. I know that this is supposed to be a completely fic-like journal, but you know what? I just got some news that I feel like the whole cyber world should know as well, even the ones who really don't care.

I PASSED MY MATH CLASS.

That's right, I said it. I passed my math class! Which may not sound like the best news since Santana told Brittany she loved her (see what I did there, eh? Eh?) but to me it's almost better.

That's right, I said that too.

I think it has to do with the fact that I'm utterly convinced that math class is clearly the devil disguised as formulas. I mean since when did they start using letters? I thought math was purely a number sort of sport. See, they trick you, that's what they do. They trick you with their ideas of simplicity and answers. But then you take it and you realize that it's just a bunch of mumbo jumbo designed to ruin your GPA.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I get that this looks like a lot of spam clogging up peoples emails but I literally hate math. Like if it were possible to gather up all the information and set it ablaze, I totally would. But then America would be stupid (well, stupider) so I guess I retract that statement.

Before anyone starts bashing me with their ideas about America, let me just show you how deep the values run here.

Me: "Okay, what do you guys want to watch?"
My 6 year old cousin: "Teen Mom 2, Teen Mom 2!"

I think that says a lot about America, haha.

Anyway, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and you know what that means? PAR-TAY.

Well I never said I was immune to the stereotypical fun-times of a teenager. I am at the ripe old age of 20 and people my age (including my fellow peers) sometimes feel the need to...well, for lack of better words. Get completely wasted. In the famous words of Ke$ha.

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Ke$ha manages to keep it classy, but not everyone has Ke$ha powers.

I heard that somewhere once and I think it to be so true. I mean who better to speak for the minds of the masses then a girl who considers throwing glitter on the floor to be hardcore? I don't know about the rest of you, but that shit is so hardcore it's practically pay-per-view. Minus all the nudity anyway.

Before anyone starts judging about the things that occupy my life, let me tell you about the new direction my life has taken. I gots a new umbrella. Cause I stoles it.

Well not really, that was actually something my bestie said, but same old, same old.

I'll leave you internet to chew on those pearls of wisdom while I go celebrate my wonderful victory!

Title: And I’m leaving out the courtesy (of admitting I was wrong)
Author: Boldpapermate
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Length: 4,934
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything through 7x16 (unfortunately).
Summary: Arizona’s reaction to her initial reaction. I suck at summaries, so just read it and you won’t be disappointed. Promise. This is the sequel to You’ve Never Been More Divine (In Accepting Your Defeat) which is the sequel to Allow Me to Exaggerate a Memory or Two. You technically don’t have to read those stories to understand this one, but it’d probably help.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the sadness in this story. The characters and the storyline are all property of Shonda and ABC. If I did own it, they’d be all over each other ALL the time.
A/N: This is as always, dedicated to the two same people. The first is my wonderful beta, istillam , who fixes all the mistakes and makes this readable. The second is my best buddy in the Callie/Arizona universe savache27 . Love you beebs, I hope this makes your day a little brighter. Also, COMMENTS=LOVE
A/N 2: So…here is the final installment of this story! I think I’m pretty much done with it unless people really, really, really want another installment. (Hint: If you comment/list some ideas for the next part, I might be swayed to continue this). I really hope that people enjoy this and that it isn’t like a complete fail in the whole Callie/Arizona universe. I really tried with this. So without further ado,

( Heads will roll, Heads will roll. )

Title: You’ve Never Been More Divine (In Accepting Your Defeat)
Author: Boldpapermate
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Length: 2,584
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything through 7x12 (unfortunately).
Summary: Arizona’s reaction to her initial reaction. I suck at summaries, so just read it and you won’t be disappointed. Promise. This is the sequel to Allow Me to Exaggerate a Memory or Two. You technically don’t have to read that story to understand this one, but it’d be better if you do.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the sadness in this story. The characters and the storyline are all property of Shonda and ABC. If I did own it, they’d be all over each other ALL the time.
A/N: This is as always, dedicated to the two same people. The first is my wonderful beta, istillam , who fixes all the mistakes and makes this readable. The second is my best buddy in the Callie/Arizona universe savache27 . Love you beebs, I hope this makes your day.
A/N 2: I have planned a sequel to this sequel. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I generally write sequels as long as enough people want them and only if savache27  or istillam  decides so. So pester them in the comments if you guys want a third one of these.
A/N 3: HAPPY GREY’S DAY AND ENJOY!!!


( FANFIC GALORE )

Title: Allow Me to Exaggerate a Memory or Two
Author: Boldpapermate
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Length: 3,673
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything through 7x12 (unfortunately).
Summary: Arizona is anything but perfect. This is Arizona’s side on the whole 7x12 thing. I suck at summaries, so just read it and you won’t be disappointed. Promise.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the sadness in this story. The characters and the storyline are all property of Shonda and ABC. If I did own it, they’d be all over each other ALL the time.
A/N: This is as always, dedicated to the two same people. The first is my wonderful beta, istillam, who fixes all the mistakes and makes this readable. The second is my best buddy in the Callie/Arizona universe savache27. This probably won’t cheer you up much beebs, but it’s a story for you anyway!
( FANFIC THIS WAY )

READ MY WONDERFULNESS CAUSE I CAN BE GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT WHILST BEING FUNNY TOO:

Sooooo, I haven't been on here in forever. BUT, guess what guyz?! I'm writing again :D. You can expect some sweet things coming soon, and when i say sweet I mean like candy inducingly sweet, I don't mean the dirty kind.

Although, I am working out the kinks in a NC-17 Arizona/Lexie fic...so wait for that :).

I also have updates for Love Today in the works (I know, I know, I take FOREVER) and an all around wonderfully fluffy Callie/Arizona fic that will be delicious for you all to read. I mean it will literally taste delicious.

I'm also updating the second part to my Rachel/Quinn fic, so be EXCITED FOR THAT.

(If none of these things come soon, you can all virtually kick my ass)

Anyway, the point of this was to tell everyone to *not* panic and you will all soon be rewarded with wonderful fic...or with ass kicking whichever actually happens.

TOODLES!